Ugh this was so moving and beautiful and a total joy to read.
I wholly agree! Balance is truly deciding what is important, and then acting on it through prioritization. Everything else falls to the way side. I had no idea the level of contentment I'd experience being consistent on what I choose. It's a little addicting to see how continually showing up is allowing my life to bloom. Thank you for the read, your family is beautiful.
Rachel!!! Thank you 😭 I love how you describe continually showing up as “addicting.” It feels good showing up things for the things I want to have be part of my life. Continually refining my values based on who I am and want to be. Thank you for making the time to read this essay. I’m grateful for your words and encouraging presence.
The actual word (Balance) hasn't been something that has been present for me, but this topic is something that has been spinning in my head. Thank you for crystalizing what I have been grappling with over the last few months. And as always, this is a great post!
Grace. Always. Reminds me back when I was trying to practice yoga regularly. The teacher would always say, “If you get distracted, it’s ok – just come back to your intention.” Balance is here. We can return to it at any point. I’m glad this could provide some grounding. Thank you for making time for this one!
Listening to your reading of this, whilst also obsessively restacking & screen shotting, like, so many bits of what you’ve written is one of the ways in which I feel blessed today, so thank you so so so much
I love how you honor your grandparents by observing them and gleaning the lessons from them as well as the love. (Also, they look absolutely huggable.) Balance is radical in the face of systems that seek to grind us into dust. May your rebellion be blessed.
I'm honored, Sharifa. Thank you. Also here to confirm they are indeed huggable. My grandma gives the best hugs. Love the idea of balance as subversion. Embracing that truth. Thank you for making the time to read this one.
As many others have observed already, this is so beautifully written. As someone who never feels like he’s doing enough, especially since I became a dad, It’s so refreshing to read about sustainability rather than productivity, about family and community instead of just about individual success. Thank you.
As a Libra I’m biased towards the idea of living a balanced life but you wrote so beautifully how balance isn’t perfecting how to do everything but appropriately assessing one’s capabilities and accessing resources from a loving support system. THATS will always be sustainable. Blessings to you and yours
Thank you, Carrington. I'm so happy this connected with you. Loved what you wrote about "assessing one’s capabilities and accessing resources from a loving support system." That's it. Blessings to you and your people too!
"I’m more interested in sustainability. Consistency. The longevity that balance and discipline offer. And that’s less about all the things I can do; it’s understanding I want to be good, and I want my people to be good. I want to be awake, alive, and alert. I want to love—and I want to maintain my capacity for love. I want to retain my ability to care."
What a beautiful powerful statement. Indeed, it feels like home.
When my son was born, we listened to the Mr. Vegas song every single morning. It doesn’t feel coincidental that you mentioned it here. Thank you for these words, and I agree with Dia; it’s beautiful to see you write about your community, from your wife to your friends to your family. So often, people want to be individuals and say they did it all by themselves. But who are we, but a sum our parts? In the spirit of Ubuntu, I am because we are.
My grandma loves that damn song lmao 😂 (I do too). "I am because we are" is the truth. The 'self-made' posturing always rubs me the wrong way because we're all part of lineages of people who came before us and stand with us. Our communities shape who we are. I'm blessed to hold a small corner in your world and to be a witness to the love you have for your people, especially your son. Thank you for reading.
This is so beautifully written, Alex. And I love what you said about prioritising balance and “inefficiency”, especially as someone who gets easily overwhelmed and is learning that I don’t have to be and do everything all at once to be worthy of existing.
Have you heard of the book Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey? It touches on the topic of rest in a capitalist society, especially for Black people.
Thank you, Fatima. Yes, I’m right there with you. We are worthy of being and not merely doing. And I’ve heard of it, haven’t read it yet though! Gonna be out the lookout for it
Well I read it and it's amazing. The how to be instead of how to do is something I will always be unlearning. It's funny because in my tradition, there is so much focus on using time wisely, and I think I misunderstood that as productivity, when really, a lot of that wise use of time is supposed to be spent in contemplation, in communion with God, in deep thought (the second half of that teaching doesn't get repeated nearly as often - we just hear "use your time wisely").
Balance is the key. I want to say the magic but magic sounds sudden and effortless and surprising, and balance is very intentional.
Noha, thank you so much for reading! Thank you for this beautiful comment, too. I can relate with thinking I had to be "productive" to make the most of my time. But so much of the real work, like you described it, is about shaping our inner selves and spiritual connection instead of serving Empire and building our own empires. I'm still nudging myself back toward that truth daily. Thank you again for the reminder.
Struggling for words here, Alex. Just so damn beautiful. You sing music, of real humanity on earth and of living with purpose and grace. I feel truly, truly fortunate to be in your circle.
I treasure your comments. It never feels like I can just reply to them right away. I want to sit with your words, offered so generously, because you speak such life that feels like it comes from a place of truly sitting with what you’re reading and how it lives in your body. Thank you for these gifts. It’s a blessing to know you’re one of the people who’s reading my work.
I absolutely do, and the fact that I can communicate it at all through a few (modest and often meager!) comments is, well… a relief. It’s not empty praise, is I guess what I’m saying, and that you grasp in any way my intent makes my heart thump. Onward and outward my friend! 💕
Ugh this was so moving and beautiful and a total joy to read.
I wholly agree! Balance is truly deciding what is important, and then acting on it through prioritization. Everything else falls to the way side. I had no idea the level of contentment I'd experience being consistent on what I choose. It's a little addicting to see how continually showing up is allowing my life to bloom. Thank you for the read, your family is beautiful.
Rachel!!! Thank you 😭 I love how you describe continually showing up as “addicting.” It feels good showing up things for the things I want to have be part of my life. Continually refining my values based on who I am and want to be. Thank you for making the time to read this essay. I’m grateful for your words and encouraging presence.
The pleasure is mine. Be well.
I just love how many lovely people you have in your corner and how you write about them. So damn beautiful
I'm so thankful you're one of those people in my corner. I hope you have the best damn wedding today. I'm so happy for you and Andrew!
The actual word (Balance) hasn't been something that has been present for me, but this topic is something that has been spinning in my head. Thank you for crystalizing what I have been grappling with over the last few months. And as always, this is a great post!
Grace. Always. Reminds me back when I was trying to practice yoga regularly. The teacher would always say, “If you get distracted, it’s ok – just come back to your intention.” Balance is here. We can return to it at any point. I’m glad this could provide some grounding. Thank you for making time for this one!
First of all, your grandparents look like movie stars! Second of all, I loved this, thanks for the beautiful story.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they were and they just never told us 😂 thank you for reading, I’m glad it meant something to you!
You’re great
🫂🥹❤️
Also let me know how long the waiting list is to be your friend. 😂
Brother I saved you a front row seat
Brb cryin 🥹🥹🥹
This exchange… 😆😭🥸🧡
Listening to your reading of this, whilst also obsessively restacking & screen shotting, like, so many bits of what you’ve written is one of the ways in which I feel blessed today, so thank you so so so much
That makes my heart happy. Thank you for generously reading, sharing, and offering such kind words.
I love how you honor your grandparents by observing them and gleaning the lessons from them as well as the love. (Also, they look absolutely huggable.) Balance is radical in the face of systems that seek to grind us into dust. May your rebellion be blessed.
I'm honored, Sharifa. Thank you. Also here to confirm they are indeed huggable. My grandma gives the best hugs. Love the idea of balance as subversion. Embracing that truth. Thank you for making the time to read this one.
All about dem GUIDELINES & BOUNDARIES.
Big facts! Also shoutout 🇯🇲🇯🇲
Yuh done know.
As many others have observed already, this is so beautifully written. As someone who never feels like he’s doing enough, especially since I became a dad, It’s so refreshing to read about sustainability rather than productivity, about family and community instead of just about individual success. Thank you.
Thank you for reading and offering such kind words, Jacob. I'm glad this connected with you. We're so much more than our individual successes.
As a Libra I’m biased towards the idea of living a balanced life but you wrote so beautifully how balance isn’t perfecting how to do everything but appropriately assessing one’s capabilities and accessing resources from a loving support system. THATS will always be sustainable. Blessings to you and yours
Thank you, Carrington. I'm so happy this connected with you. Loved what you wrote about "assessing one’s capabilities and accessing resources from a loving support system." That's it. Blessings to you and your people too!
"I’m more interested in sustainability. Consistency. The longevity that balance and discipline offer. And that’s less about all the things I can do; it’s understanding I want to be good, and I want my people to be good. I want to be awake, alive, and alert. I want to love—and I want to maintain my capacity for love. I want to retain my ability to care."
What a beautiful powerful statement. Indeed, it feels like home.
Thank you so much, Terra! I'm glad those words connected with you ❤️
When my son was born, we listened to the Mr. Vegas song every single morning. It doesn’t feel coincidental that you mentioned it here. Thank you for these words, and I agree with Dia; it’s beautiful to see you write about your community, from your wife to your friends to your family. So often, people want to be individuals and say they did it all by themselves. But who are we, but a sum our parts? In the spirit of Ubuntu, I am because we are.
My grandma loves that damn song lmao 😂 (I do too). "I am because we are" is the truth. The 'self-made' posturing always rubs me the wrong way because we're all part of lineages of people who came before us and stand with us. Our communities shape who we are. I'm blessed to hold a small corner in your world and to be a witness to the love you have for your people, especially your son. Thank you for reading.
This is so beautifully written, Alex. And I love what you said about prioritising balance and “inefficiency”, especially as someone who gets easily overwhelmed and is learning that I don’t have to be and do everything all at once to be worthy of existing.
Have you heard of the book Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey? It touches on the topic of rest in a capitalist society, especially for Black people.
Thank you, Fatima. Yes, I’m right there with you. We are worthy of being and not merely doing. And I’ve heard of it, haven’t read it yet though! Gonna be out the lookout for it
Well I read it and it's amazing. The how to be instead of how to do is something I will always be unlearning. It's funny because in my tradition, there is so much focus on using time wisely, and I think I misunderstood that as productivity, when really, a lot of that wise use of time is supposed to be spent in contemplation, in communion with God, in deep thought (the second half of that teaching doesn't get repeated nearly as often - we just hear "use your time wisely").
Balance is the key. I want to say the magic but magic sounds sudden and effortless and surprising, and balance is very intentional.
Noha, thank you so much for reading! Thank you for this beautiful comment, too. I can relate with thinking I had to be "productive" to make the most of my time. But so much of the real work, like you described it, is about shaping our inner selves and spiritual connection instead of serving Empire and building our own empires. I'm still nudging myself back toward that truth daily. Thank you again for the reminder.
It’s gonna take our whole lives to do this, isn’t it 😅😅
That’s what they’re saying 😭😭
Struggling for words here, Alex. Just so damn beautiful. You sing music, of real humanity on earth and of living with purpose and grace. I feel truly, truly fortunate to be in your circle.
I treasure your comments. It never feels like I can just reply to them right away. I want to sit with your words, offered so generously, because you speak such life that feels like it comes from a place of truly sitting with what you’re reading and how it lives in your body. Thank you for these gifts. It’s a blessing to know you’re one of the people who’s reading my work.
I absolutely do, and the fact that I can communicate it at all through a few (modest and often meager!) comments is, well… a relief. It’s not empty praise, is I guess what I’m saying, and that you grasp in any way my intent makes my heart thump. Onward and outward my friend! 💕
Not empty at all. Thank you so much. I deeply appreciate you!
Truly beautiful Alex. You gave us all something to think about and act on . Thank You ❤️ Aunt Lisa
Thanks, Aunt Lisa! I love you ❤️