Ya know.. apart from the general sturdiness and tenderness that you generally bring in your writing.. this was also just a perfect essay as far as balance and rhythm and research. I stand in envy my friend. Well done.
Alex, this was so powerful. I have found my relationship with God has evolved a lot in the past few years. For now, I've landed on that it is a 1:1 relationship with something larger than me that helps me stay grounded despite the fact that I don't prescribe to a specific faith. It's more so a practice for me because I've found prayer, a conversation with God, to be such an important part of my life. I deeply appreciate your transparent telling of your journey. And I especially appreciate how held I felt the whole read through :) Sending you ease, my friend.
I always admire how you approach matters of life with such care. This is beautifully explained and something I see so much of myself in. I’m glad we’re navigating this journey together. Thank you for always believing in me and my work.
yet to see someone describe my relationship with christianity this way. Whenever people ask me why i don’t enrol to the faith as they do—i’ll refer them to this essay.
It’s been immensely helpful for me to consider my relationship to faith in this way. I feel less cynical like it’s possible for me to extend more grace. Appreciate you reading, fam.
I sent this to my grandmothers, eighty-year-old lesbians who run our Episcopal parish, it made them both cry. The intersection of queerness and faith is something so so personal, but you've managed to articulate it in a way that reflects the specificity of your lived experience while also expressing it in a way that's so easy to connect your own experience to. This is an incredible essay, and also a fantastic sermon.
Whew, Annika. I can’t explain how this comment is blessing me. I always invite people to share my work with someone special to them, and this is a beautiful example of that. I’m grateful it connected with them and you. Thank you for this gift.
Thank you for sharing this, Alex. I'm catching the Spirit of what you are saying. I am a preacher who has decidedly stopped attending church who shares the good news of Jesus through neutron stars, mother trees, and the many shapes of water. A Pentecostal Mystic who pulls cards and sings Fred Hammond (his Something Bout Love album ended a musical era imo). I dream with folks in a variety of circles - the church-oriented ones I feel on the fringes of while knowing (because of the people, not the institution) I still belong. Knowing that the perspective from where I am seeks to honor how I've been formed *and* the mystery beyond the boxes I was formed in. I'm sharing all of this because I've looked around this liminal space I'm inhabiting and felt so uncomfortable recently. I have a nagging story in my head that says everyone has made a "clear choice" except me...as if where and how I am right now isn't an intentional choice in and of itself. It's good to hear from others (adding you to this list today!) that this thing, this mark on my soul is both tattoo and scar - some things I choose to leave etched in me for good and some things have been wounds that healed. That the faith of my mothers and the church experiences of Love will never not be part of how I speak, live, move, and have my being. Thanks Alex, Love to you and yours 💙
Thank you for reading, Nya. And thank you for so beautifully reminding me I'm not alone. These words are a balm, and I'm so grateful you chose to share them with me. There's tension in this in-between, and there's also beauty. This is a wonderful glimpse of that. I'm honored you made time for my work. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
An “English Teacher” for the last 34 years, I have LoVED my work and the chance to spend significant time around my teachers, the students. Here are a few powerful lessons:
1. I have lost 44 students to suicide, virtually all directly traceable to the fact that their “religious” family did not accept their sexual identity and, therefore, the student did. It feel acceptable in this world. 2. In my second year of teaching, a student came out to me, said I was first to know outside his immediate family. He made clear that his family fully accepted him, perhaps even “knew”
Before he did. That student is increasingly involved in the Catholic Church, is close to attaining “priesthood.” 3. In that same year, I served a fundamentalist family through three siblings and had excellent status with them, in part because I opened the floor to one student giving a well-prepared presentation to explain an alternate narrative to rebut the Land Bridge Theory leading to the migration of humans to North America. Awhile later, that student asked me what I was carving and I proudly handed her a nearly-finished depiction of Buddha meditation. Upon receipt of the rock carving, she went into convulsions and collapsed in the floor. Later, I called her parents to explain what happened and the parent replied, “Well, that makes sense. You know our family loves you, but we consider Buddha and all his followers to be evil.” 4.much later, having thoroughly rejected all organized religion, I fell into a not-particularly friendly exchange with a religiously zealous student who introduced me to the red print bible, highlighting what is, supposedly, wisdom direct from Jesus’ mouth to elevate it from the surrounding commentary. He happily gave me a copy, now lovingly resting prominently in my library, underlining a significant change in my relationship with that student and Christianity. 5. I sure like the idea that “The meek shall inherit the earth.” May Jesus’s words be so.
Ya know.. apart from the general sturdiness and tenderness that you generally bring in your writing.. this was also just a perfect essay as far as balance and rhythm and research. I stand in envy my friend. Well done.
This was so deeply beautiful. I wish I could wrap each paragraph around me like a blanket
Aw thanks brother 🫂
Alex, this was so powerful. I have found my relationship with God has evolved a lot in the past few years. For now, I've landed on that it is a 1:1 relationship with something larger than me that helps me stay grounded despite the fact that I don't prescribe to a specific faith. It's more so a practice for me because I've found prayer, a conversation with God, to be such an important part of my life. I deeply appreciate your transparent telling of your journey. And I especially appreciate how held I felt the whole read through :) Sending you ease, my friend.
I always admire how you approach matters of life with such care. This is beautifully explained and something I see so much of myself in. I’m glad we’re navigating this journey together. Thank you for always believing in me and my work.
i kept this piece in my inbox for the last two weeks until i was really ready for the read. what a perfectly flowing + reflective essay, alex!
I appreciate you making time for it and that it’s something you even wanted to save to spend time with! Thank you so much for the kind words 🥲
yet to see someone describe my relationship with christianity this way. Whenever people ask me why i don’t enrol to the faith as they do—i’ll refer them to this essay.
It’s been immensely helpful for me to consider my relationship to faith in this way. I feel less cynical like it’s possible for me to extend more grace. Appreciate you reading, fam.
fr bro. You’re the voice of the people. And i sincerely appreciate you turning emotions i can’t pen down into actual words.
“They're who I think of when I think of God.”
“I'm the homies who have no religion and still practice love, care, and compassion.”
“Christianity is my first language, and it won't be my last.”
i fucking love you Alex! fr fr!
My guy!!! Love you too 🫂
I feel seen after reading this. These are powerful words, Alex. Thank you.
I appreciate you reading, Risa. It means the world. Thank you!
I sent this to my grandmothers, eighty-year-old lesbians who run our Episcopal parish, it made them both cry. The intersection of queerness and faith is something so so personal, but you've managed to articulate it in a way that reflects the specificity of your lived experience while also expressing it in a way that's so easy to connect your own experience to. This is an incredible essay, and also a fantastic sermon.
Whew, Annika. I can’t explain how this comment is blessing me. I always invite people to share my work with someone special to them, and this is a beautiful example of that. I’m grateful it connected with them and you. Thank you for this gift.
Thank you, Alex. I got chills near the end ❤️
Thanks for reading, Kent. I appreciate you making for this one.
so beautiful. one of the best long-form pieces of Christianity-related writing i've seen in a while
That’s so kind. Thank you, Sophie. I’m honored 🥺
Thank you, as always for finding the words. 💜
Thank you for reading them 🙏🏽
Beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciate you reading, thank you!
Thank you for sharing this, Alex. I'm catching the Spirit of what you are saying. I am a preacher who has decidedly stopped attending church who shares the good news of Jesus through neutron stars, mother trees, and the many shapes of water. A Pentecostal Mystic who pulls cards and sings Fred Hammond (his Something Bout Love album ended a musical era imo). I dream with folks in a variety of circles - the church-oriented ones I feel on the fringes of while knowing (because of the people, not the institution) I still belong. Knowing that the perspective from where I am seeks to honor how I've been formed *and* the mystery beyond the boxes I was formed in. I'm sharing all of this because I've looked around this liminal space I'm inhabiting and felt so uncomfortable recently. I have a nagging story in my head that says everyone has made a "clear choice" except me...as if where and how I am right now isn't an intentional choice in and of itself. It's good to hear from others (adding you to this list today!) that this thing, this mark on my soul is both tattoo and scar - some things I choose to leave etched in me for good and some things have been wounds that healed. That the faith of my mothers and the church experiences of Love will never not be part of how I speak, live, move, and have my being. Thanks Alex, Love to you and yours 💙
Thank you for reading, Nya. And thank you for so beautifully reminding me I'm not alone. These words are a balm, and I'm so grateful you chose to share them with me. There's tension in this in-between, and there's also beauty. This is a wonderful glimpse of that. I'm honored you made time for my work. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
An “English Teacher” for the last 34 years, I have LoVED my work and the chance to spend significant time around my teachers, the students. Here are a few powerful lessons:
1. I have lost 44 students to suicide, virtually all directly traceable to the fact that their “religious” family did not accept their sexual identity and, therefore, the student did. It feel acceptable in this world. 2. In my second year of teaching, a student came out to me, said I was first to know outside his immediate family. He made clear that his family fully accepted him, perhaps even “knew”
Before he did. That student is increasingly involved in the Catholic Church, is close to attaining “priesthood.” 3. In that same year, I served a fundamentalist family through three siblings and had excellent status with them, in part because I opened the floor to one student giving a well-prepared presentation to explain an alternate narrative to rebut the Land Bridge Theory leading to the migration of humans to North America. Awhile later, that student asked me what I was carving and I proudly handed her a nearly-finished depiction of Buddha meditation. Upon receipt of the rock carving, she went into convulsions and collapsed in the floor. Later, I called her parents to explain what happened and the parent replied, “Well, that makes sense. You know our family loves you, but we consider Buddha and all his followers to be evil.” 4.much later, having thoroughly rejected all organized religion, I fell into a not-particularly friendly exchange with a religiously zealous student who introduced me to the red print bible, highlighting what is, supposedly, wisdom direct from Jesus’ mouth to elevate it from the surrounding commentary. He happily gave me a copy, now lovingly resting prominently in my library, underlining a significant change in my relationship with that student and Christianity. 5. I sure like the idea that “The meek shall inherit the earth.” May Jesus’s words be so.